Riingo, Restaurant Week, NYC

Riingo is the Japanese word for apple.  This is fitting because I don’t like apples very much.  I think they’re pretty bland.  I think they’re pretty boring.  Kind of like red delicious apples.  It’s misleading, actually.  They may be red, but they are not that delicious.  And I often find that my red delicious apples have gone mealy on me.

In a way, you could kinda say the same thing about Riingo, which is located in the Alex Hotel, at 205 E. 45th St.  Riingo is pretty bland and boring and all of the above.  To boot, I had pretty terrible service there, although I’m somewhat willing to let that slide for them this time (One of my guests was over an hour late for dinner but the restaurant was kind enough to honor our reservation — by seating us in the worst booth in the house, where there was a ton of foot traffic, and the servers kept slamming drawers into the back of one of our seats whenever they needed more silverware.  Fantastic).

First Course

The food was pretty awful, too.  We started off with a roasted beet salad that was very visually impressive and very bland in taste.  Again, I apologize for the lack of pictures.  All the pictures I took have been lost in a broken camera phone.

We also had some beer-braised short ribs with hearts of palm and an apple puree.  I didn’t think the apple puree tasted anything like apple, and figured they would have done a better job just smearing a spoonful of some store-bought applesauce onto the plate.  The short ribs were okay, but could have been much more flavorful.

There was also a salmon avocado roll, which was the savior of the night, because it was just like any other salmon avocado roll that you could have gotten at any sushi buffet anywhere.

Second Course

The three entrees we had were as follows:

Soy-glazed salmon, bulgur wheat, scallions. This has been updated on Riingo’s menu to be fried rice instead of bulgur wheat — probably because the bulgur wheat was terrible.  I bet they don’t do the fried rice very well either, sadly.  Also, the salmon was very one-note, and not very tasty at all.  It barely tasted of soy, for starters.

Chili roasted chicken, shiitake mushrooms, water spinach. The single dryest piece of meat I have ever eaten in my life, evocative of jerky.  Inedible.

Grilled hangar steak, Japanese sweet potatoes, plum sauce. I freaking hate when I see plum sauce on a menu, or when I hear people talk about plum sauce.  Why?  Because it never actually turns out to be plum sauce.  It’s hoisin sauce.  There are no plums in hoisin!  Real plum sauce is divine.  Hoisin sauce is cloying.  To boot, why the hell should I pay $25 for overcooked, tough steak that’s been drizzled with about a penny’s worth of “plum sauce,” which I can get by the pint at an Asian grocery for two bucks and change?  I’m sorry.  This makes no sense to me.

Dessert

Donuts, green tea ice cream. Not bad.  “Donuts”, I think, is copyrighted, especially since America [apparently] runs on it.  Nice job, whoever-wrote-the-menu.  Also, they were not very soft and tender, like how I think doughnuts are supposed to be.  At least the ice cream was good, but then, it’s probably purchased in bulk from someone who actually knows their way around in a kitchen.

Warm Chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream. Why does this dessert seem so familiar?  Ah, yes.  That’s right.  Because I had this same exact dessert, yesterday, at Centrico, only Centrico’s was magnitudes better.  That’s why.

Summary:

Do yourselves a favor and don’t eat here unless someone pays you to do so.  Even then, I’d be reluctant.  Sorry, Riingo.  Try harder.

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